Okay, so I’m standing at the cash register at a grocery store the other day and saw these. Had to buy a pack (35 cents) as my craving took over. They look and taste the same. Had no idea they were still making these. Unless…they’ve been sitting on a shelf somewhere since I was a kid. Would explain the taste.
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So, last year my wife and my mother-in-law gave me a bunch of these glow stone thingies to line the slate path in my garden. There were at least a hundred of them and they looked very cool at night. But after a while, there were less and less of them. I thought maybe they were evaporating. I realized one of the local animals must have been stealing them so I collected them up (what was left) and Bonnie used them in the bottom of a glass vase with a flower arrangement. So, now they are turning up all over the place. I think the squirrels buried them as food for the winter and when they tried to eat them, spit them out. Gonna use the rest inside. After I wash off the squirrel spit.
So, during the Sunday School hour, the kids made a headband with floppy ears that stuck up. As a prank, the ushers came down the aisle to collect the offering, all wearing a set of these bunny ears. I laughed and, to show I was not phased, used it as a transition into my sermon time. After they departed, and before the sermon, I’m thinking bunny ears, Easter. I waxed eloquent about adapting popular culture to teach spiritual truths, IE the Easter Egg and Rabbit, symbols of new life etc. Later, I found out that the ears were donkey ears. Donkey. Jesus riding. Palm Sunday. Palm smacks forehead.
I’d been pushed, prodded, and poked plenty over the past few days but being body-shaved by a nurse at 6:30 in the morning was a whole new level of dignity loss. I’m a very hairy man. My hairy chest is one of the things my wife says she finds especially attractive about me. How she narrows it down from so many choices I don’t know but that particular attraction is now gone. So is the hair on my belly, legs, and… other areas. I didn’t really look at the whole effect in a mirror until I was three days post-surgery and on my first full day at home. I looked like a tide-beached whale, only not as attractive as that.